Struggling

The scene couldn't have been more perfect (and ridiculous) unless it was from a movie. But, we weren't characters from a movie. It was me and Kendan. .... and Damien too but he had more of a supporting role in this scene. The setting: a busy grocery store, late afternoon, on a week night. Dozens of good citizens paying for their last minute dinner necessities. I walked into the store with the boys in a hurry since it was the second of two stops on our way to a friend's house. I pleaded with Kendan to ride in a cart in an attempt to make this stop very quick and painless. He refused. I knew better than to push it considering the day full of fits we had already had. No, it'd be faster to just let him walk. I, for some insane reason, did not grab a cart for Damien. We were only picking up one item. It shouldn't be too hard. Then it happened. Kendan saw a large salt water taffy display. I don't blame him for wanting a piece. We were on our way to eat dinner, he was hungry, and the array of brightly colored candy was taunting him. I get it. He immediately bolted to the damn taffy. I was saying "no" before he even asked. I reminded him that we were only there for one thing and on our way to dinner. So, no, he could not have a piece of candy. All.hell.broke.loose. He began crying, begging, and plucking a blue taffy directly from the shelf before I could intercept him. *Sigh* Now I'm literally taking candy from a baby. Whoever came up with that saying to reference something being easy has never taken candy from a kid who actually knows what candy is. Well, my kid knows. And he knew he wanted that candy. NOW! I put the pristinely wrapped, sugar-filled bane of my existence back from whence it came. Shrill screaming ensued. "I WANT A CANDY!!!!!" See? Seriously from a movie. A movie where you want to take the screaming child over your knee and teach him a lesson. All while shaking your head and thinking to yourself, "My child will never act like that!" That was my child. I attempted to take him by the hand to lead him to the dairy section and he ripped it away from me. It was clear I would have to carry him. I bent down to pick him up and two gentlemen standing near us offered to get me a cart. I knew Kendan would freak out if I put him in a cart since we already came to the conclusion that he will not ride in one. Again, why didn't I accept one for Damien? He was clearly the last thing on my mind (as made evident by the fact that we lost his pacifier in the heat of the incident and I didn't notice until the next day!). Poor Brother. Having refused a cart, I began carrying both boys to the back of the store. My mind racing! If only Kroger had vegan cheese we wouldn't be making this stop. I should have just let him have the stupid candy; we'd be done by now! No, he cannot always have his way. This is not the place to be teaching him a lesson though. Some where during my thoughts Kendan slipped down out of my arms due to his violent thrashing. All while still screaming for a candy as loud as I have ever heard him scream. We made it to the check out where he continued to make a spectacle of himself. I just ignored him and quickly paid for our item. The cashier asked me "how I was doing today". As if I had to answer. I took him by the hand and had to literally drag him out of the store. I got him between the two sets of doors, almost there. We were in the vestibule! I could feel the relief of the blistering heat outside (the only time I have ever welcomed the Texas heat). He broke loose!!! He runs back into the store. I am taken so by surprise that I almost drop my purse... and my other child! I adjusted everything in my arms, but by then he had a lead on me. I ran after him and got ahold of his wrist, halfway back passed the check out aisles. I managed to get him into my one *somewhat* free arm and looked up just in time to see a woman mouth "whoa" and look away. That's it. That's all I needed to make it the most embarrassing moment of my life! Thank you very much, lady. And thank you, Kendan. It didn't end there. We struggled all the way back to the car. I had to pin him against the side of the tire to keep him from darting into the parking lot while I buckled Damien in. I wrestled Kendan into his seat and performed some sort of miracle to get his straps over his arms. I was drenched in sweat. All while he screamed. And kicked. And hit me. And, yes, even tried to bite me. The worst tantrum he has ever had to date. 

I'd be lying if I said that was the first time. True, that's the worst I've ever seen it. But, definitely not the first time. I've climbed to the top of too many Chick Fil A jungle gyms to drag him kicking and screaming down to go home. We had a few months right before and after he turned three that really, really, tested me. My patience. My frustration tolerance. My ability to refrain from shaking my child. I know that those fits are usually a combination of many things. Kendan being tired and hungry and my being impatient with him are usually the top three contributors to the issue. The majority of the tantrums have cleared up. Thank goodness. True, they are now a rarity but when they do happen .... it makes for the worst day ever! 

Just as Kendan's introduction to the age of three was calming down, Damien hit a severe separation anxiety phase. Right at about 17 months I could not put Damien down at all. I could not walk away from him. Not even an inch. He would climb up my leg. Scream (he can rival his older brother.... I promise you). Hit. Freak out. He would lose his mind. It was nearly impossible to accomplish anything. Everything had to be done one-handed while I held a baby in the other arm. Dinner. Dishes. Putting costumes on Kendan. Everything. I couldn't even sit on the floor with him in my arms because he feared I would set him down. If I did not have him in my arms he was letting out a blood-curdling cry at my feet. While I used the bathroom. While I cut his fruit for lunch. While I got us ready for the pool. Always with my begging him to stop. Thankfully, I believe this phase is on its way out. But, just as with Kendan's occasional loss of sanity, I know Damien will sometimes remind of us of this trying time in our lives. 

I've been struggling. It has been a very long few months. I've been desperate. Crying in the kitchen while I let my child scream. All he wants is for me to hold him! But, I cannot hold him all the time. It is physically impossible. Believe me, I've tried to put a shirt on while holding him. It cannot be done! Crying in the car after Kendan made the biggest spectacle of himself in public ever. Obsessing over what happened and all the things I did wrong. And the look. The look of disbelief the woman gave me when Kendan went racing back into the store. All the confirmation I needed that I was failing. I worry all the time that the way I handle my children in these critical moments is ruining them. When they need me to remain calm and simultaneously teach them a lesson, make them feel safe, and contain the situation, I cannot always deliver. Sometimes, yes, I handle it as well as anyone! I love those days. Even if it was a hard moment with the boys I take comfort in knowing that I dealt with it properly. But, a lot of the times, I do not handle it well. I become impatient. I begin to raise my voice. I cut Kendan off when he's talking. I yell. I repeatedly ask Damien to stop crying, which makes him cry harder. If we're in public, I panic that we're making a scene and completely lose focus and nerve for what I have to do to rectify the situation. It's miserable. But, it's the truth. We've been struggling. 

I really do hope these days will be behind us soon. I hope my children will have less days full of crying. I hope I can have enough good days in a row to rebuild my confidence in my parenting ability. I hope my children know how much I love them even when we are all crying. Out of tiredness. Hunger. Anxiety. Fear. Stress. Being overwhelmed. Or just because we have to have a blue salt water taffy, right now. Mostly, I hope that this post finds somebody else who needed this. A mom. A dad. A friend. Doesn't matter. Just so they know that we all struggle from time to time. 

Interview

I've seen several blogs where mothers interview their child and I have always thought it was an adorable idea. I can write as much as I want in my boys' baby books (or as little as I want, whatever!) but, that's all from my perspective. I love the idea of asking Kendan questions, some simple and some more complex, and getting his in-the-moment answer. He is growing so fast and changing every day. The way he sees the world will frequently change. An interview is a great way to encapsulate how his mind works today. As he gets older we can repeat this activity and compare his answers and thought processes. Like a little timeline of the evolution of how Kendan thinks. A reminder of how quickly my baby grows and just how precious the mind of a child is. I sat down with my curious three year old while he finger painted to ask him some questions. He dipped his fingers into the green paint, cringed at how cold it was, and commented that he needed a napkin. I retrieved one for him and we were on our way. Here are some highlights from my interview with Kendan. 

Me: What is Mommy's favorite TV show? 

K: Octonauts. 

Wrong. It's not even my favorite of HIS shows. But, we were off to a good start. 

Me: What does Mommy do for fun? 

K: Go to yoga! 

He is always so hung up on my going to yoga. If I go anywhere without him he assumes it's to yoga. If he makes a pretend phone call to me it's to ask when I'll be home from yoga. Truthfully, Sunday is the only time I go when he is even awake; unless he wakes up really early on a weekday. I think the idea of mommy having anything to do outside of care for him is mind boggling.

Me: What does Mommy do with her friends? 

K: Play Batman! 

Wrong again. But, I love to think of him imagining me and my friends dressed up in masks and capes, 'flying' around the living room! 

Me: What does Daddy drink? 

K: Milk with dairy in it. Cow milk. 

He has become increasingly aware that he is allergic to dairy and often asks us if what we're offering him to eat or drink contains dairy. As if we're trying to have him consume it! We also explain to him that many of the foods we eat and drink do, in fact, contain dairy. Such as ice cream, cheese, beer.... ok maybe we stretch the truth some. Don't judge. But, that is why he specified that Daddy drinks cow milk with dairy in it. 

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up? 

K: Batman! 

DUH.

Me: What makes you happy?

K: Going to the park with Elmo!! 

I laughed out loud. He was directly quoting a book we own about what makes Elmo happy. 

Me: What are you afraid of? 

K: Not tornadoes. They love to party. 

Ok, this is his dad's doing. At the beginning of this Spring, he began asking a lot of questions about tornadoes during inclement weather. I'm not even sure how he knew to be afraid of them! So, to ease his fears, Craig told him that tornadoes aren't scary and that they love to party. It definitely had an affect on him! 

Me: What is the funniest word? 

*While shimmying his shoulders back and forth, and in a silly, high-pitched voice he replied:* 

K: Buuuunny raaaabbit. 

I wish I had that on video! In a million years I would have never guessed he'd answer like that. I actually thought he would answer with "snickerdoodle". We chose that word, specifically because it was funny, as a signal to remind him to stop sucking his thumb. But, he had his own idea of what was a silly word, and even added the effects to make it so. 

Me: What is the best thing in the world? 

K: Going to baseball games! 

I melted!! I absolutely LOVE that he responded this way. Taking him to baseball games and seeing how much fun he has at them is so special to us. It's amazing to know it's special to him too! This was also the moment I realized that he understood everything I was asking him. I wasn't sure he'd get what I meant by the "best thing in the world". But, he did. 

Me: What is the worst thing in the world?

K: When I cry when my costumes get put up. 

This made me so sad but also laugh a little. Yes, when he gets in trouble a very common consequence is for his costume tub to be taken away. A tiny part of me was glad to see it has an actual effect on him; proof that it's a viable punishment. But, it made me feel terrible that it's the "worst thing in the world" to him. What have I done?! 

Me: If you had a lot of money, what would you buy? 

K: CANDY! 

No surprise there. I guessed that'd be his answer well before I asked the question. He's three. He loves candy.

There were many other questions in our short interview. I will keep all of his answers safe in his baby book. But, the answers above will be kept close to my heart. He amazes me every day. Cracks me up. Says things I'm not expecting. Knows things and I don't know how he knows them. I was surprised that he understood the questions. I don't know why. He is very smart! But, I suppose I expected him to not even pay attention to me while I interviewed him. But, he got it. He gave real answers and I'm so proud of him. I cannot wait to repeat this with him in the future. To see what different responses he'll have and to witness how much he'll change, even in a short amount of time. Every time I read these answers I will laugh, and remember who Kendan was that day. 

Favorites

As Kendan gets older he is beginning to understand what "favorite" means. He has a favorite color, cereal, and friend. His favorite super hero and show change daily depending on which shirt is clean and which show's icon appears first on DVR. Mom and Dad rotate as favorite depending on who just gave him candy! This changing of what tops his list is not unlike any other child, or person in general. My favorite things change frequently as well. Whatever is currently making my life easier or more enjoyable is often described as "the BEST" while I rave about it to a friend or lick the remnants of it off of my fingers. As for the boys, their preferences are constantly on my mind. "Oh, the green cereal bowl is clean! Kendan will be so happy!" or "I can endure an episode of Mickey since Damien loves it so much..." But, actually listing what I prefer took some thought. My immediate reaction was to catalog foods we eat regularly *seems about right*... Had to start over (although many foods still make the cut). I have decided to comprise two lists: my favorite things as a mom and my favorite things as a person, woman, consumer, human, etc. All of these favorites could change tomorrow; some might even change before I'm done writing this post.... But, here it goes.

My Favorite Things as a Mom:

1). Peek-a-Boo Owl. Watch.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=NffqnjwP0w8&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DNffqnjwP0w8

Hilarious! Kendan and I were watching Disney Jr. one day and this video short came on between Clorox and Pampers commercials. We watched silently for a few seconds and then looked at each other and busted out laughing! Not only is it seriously cute (and bordering on stoner humor, whatever) but, Kendan thought it was funny. We're getting to an age where he gets it. I hear him chuckle at shows while I am making dinner or he'll recall funny things in conversations. It makes every day more fun. Any time my boys need a pick-me-up, I just play this Peek-a-Boo Owl and we're all giggling in no time.

2). Organic Soy/Coconut Yogurt. My children have a dairy allergy. I am not complaining because there are way worse lots in life; but, sometimes it can pose difficulties in the nutrition department. Not to mention, Kendan's two year boycott of all meat products (except chicken nuggets, *shudder*) made protein difficult to come by at times. I often thought, "I wish I could give him yogurt" seeing my friends supplement their kids' diets with the fun, fruity flavors of a protein and probiotic-filled snack. I don't know what took me so long to discover non-dairy yogurt! Soy (or coconut) yogurt is now a staple in our house. I can add a tablespoon of it to Damien's cut up waffle or hand Kendan a whole container; he'll eat until his heart's content. Loves it.

3). Soy nut butter. In addition to a dairy allergy, my children have a peanut allergy. Bubble boys much? When in search of protein sources everybody's initial suggestion is peanut butter. Nope! There are almond and cashew butters, etc. But, I need the boys' peanut butter to look like my peanut butter. Kendan will not accept that he is also having an english muffin with peanut butter if it doesn't look just like Mommy's! So, the nuttier, oilier, darker-colored versions of nut butters wouldn't work. Then I found soy nut butter. Jack pot! Looks just like mine. Spreads just like mine. And now the boys can eat PB&J like "normal" kids. Score!

4). Pat the Bunny. Weeks before Damien's first birthday I had a conversation with his Aunt Caili about gift ideas. She asked, "Do you have the book Pat the Bunny?" No... "Oh, it's a classic!" Two weeks later it was wrapped and in front of my birthday boy. Best baby book ever! To say it is Damien's favorite book would be an understatement. If it is within his line of sight he will throw whatever he is holding to the ground and reach for/whine for Pat the Bunny until he gets it. It was also the first book that he actually paid attention to and participated in the actions it calls for. "Pat the bunny," "feel Daddy's scratchy face", "read Judy's book"... Whatever the book demands, Damien obliges. It's adorable! We love that book. 

5). Anything Super hero. DUH. Anybody who reads my blog, follows me on Instagram, or has met Kendan knows he is obsessed with super heroes. The super hero affect in our house isn't just cute shirts with attached capes and masks worn to every public place. Super heroes save us every day (as their definition implies). If I need Kendan to do me a favor, I call it a "rescue", and it's done immediately. Need to get him to eat his vegetables? Well, Batman eats his green beans every day! Every store has super hero paraphernalia so it is never hard to find a bribery tool *proud Mom moment*. And it doesn't even have to be a toy. Kendan has gladly done whatever he needed to do just to hold an Avengers napkin! It's awesome. Thank you, DC and Marvel. 

6). Target's Dollar Section. Every mom who shops at Target knows the dollar section is where it's at; and every mom I know shops at Target. From snacks to books I can always find the perfect stocking stuffers, small gift additions, or just something to entertain the boys while we shop! They often sell coloring book/crayon/sticker packs featuring very popular characters from kids' shows. I pick one up in each character almost every chance I can. Those packs have helped us survive the DMV, restaurants, oil changes, doctors' appointments, you name it. The best part about the dollar section is I can buy my children whatever they want and the most it will cost me is $3; unlike in the toy aisle where the cheapest toy Kendan points to is at least $8. Money saver. 

My Favorite things as Me:

1). LOFT Jeans. I hate buying jeans. Pants in general, really. I am "pear-shaped" and have to buy bottoms two sizes bigger in the waist to fit my rear and thighs. It doesn't help that many of the super skinny, low-rise styles are not flattering on my body type and create an unnecessary "muffin top". I often find myself near tears because all stores size pants differently. How can I be a size 4 at one place and a size 10 at the next? It's frustrating. But! I finally found them. The jeans that actually fit and feel great! LOFT's Curvy Straight Leg jeans. They are a better style for my frame and the fact that I am an almost 30 year old, mother of two. Perfect!

2). XM Radio. I should start by explaining that we do not actually have a subscription to XM radio. But, they often do free trials, the most recent of which lasted over two months! Prior to having my children, music was very important to me. XM reminds me of my love for music. It also seems as if new music is played sooner on XM stations, and certainly more frequently. There are so many bands that I didn't know existed that I now cannot wait to hear (and blare) during my daily errands. We may have to buy the service...

3). Yoga. I love yoga for so many reasons. I first started going for exercise. I do much better with little, or no, impact exercise and yoga fits that bill perfectly! But, with yoga, I have gained so much more than a way to get fit. Yoga clears my mind. For one to two hours per class the only thing I am thinking about is breathing. It's so freeing. Yoga also steadies me. I am typically a frantic, worried, stressed out person. Yoga has taught me to just be. Be calm. Be still. It has helped me with restraint and patience. And my body feels better than it ever did with high-impact exercise. I now recognize how important it is to be strong, lean, and supple. I hear about gym classes called "body attack" or something equally as threatening and think to myself, "why would you want to attack your body?!" I prefer to heal and strengthen my body through yoga.

4). Kale Chips. I'm addicted. I make a pan a day, sometimes two pans. I have also started to branch out from my typical salt and pepper seasoning to Salt and Vinegar and BBQ. Sound delicious? Anyone? I had heard so many people talk about kale chips and thought they were insane. Then I tried them. Whoa. They have replaced regular chips for me. Something that I was a full-blown addict for and had to do a 30 Day, No Chip Challenge to stop eating! Now, I eat kale chips with my sandwich at lunch or cook some up when I have a craving during nap time. The best part? Kendan loves them too! Also, side note, I am not a health freak. If I were writing this post two months ago the number one favorite thing on my list would be Blue Bell ice cream! Blue Bell is still a MUST, just not daily. Try out kale chips if you haven't!

5). Bloody Mary's. I'm drinking one as I type this *whoops*. It's a Sunday favorite. .... I can't help it if Saturday is also "Sunday" in our house! We've perfected the recipe and all the garnishes that decorate the glass. It is also the only alcoholic beverage I feel comfortable drinking before noon. And, let's be honest, some days (with kids) you want to drink before lunch! If you haven't made Bloody Mary's a regular thing then, please, do! Play around with ingredient and garnish ideas. You cannot go wrong!

 

6). Target Dollar Section. ...... making its second appearance in one blog post! Target is my sanctuary. If I am ever not sure what to do for the day, we go to Target. Feeling cooped up and just want to burn some time before dinner? Target. But, specifically, the dollar section makes the list again because I always find the best deals! I usually love their kitchen gadgets. I recently purchased rubber spatulas, 2 for $1. And they were cute to boot with patterns, colors, and sayings on the handles (in typical Target fashion). I am also now the proud owner of about ten fruit and vegetable bags. I didn't even know I needed them and now I don't know how I lived without! They are just mesh, drawstring bags for produce and I am hooked. Hope they're still in the dollar spot so you can pick one up.... for only a buck!

Well, there you have it, my current list of favorites. As our children grow up and all of our tastes change this list will also change. Favorite foods and pastimes will be replaced faster than Kendan can change out of a Batman shirt and into a Super Man one. But, it will be nice to be able to go back and read this post. A reminder of what our lives were like today, the things we enjoyed, watched, ate. What made us laugh. What made us happy. What made us "us". All of the items listed above are approved by our family and recommended for yours. Enjoy!

Perfect

"He's so happy all the time!" "You're so lucky." "This is perfect!" These are actual comments posted on some of my Instagram pictures. I often look through my own feed and admire the pictures of our children and think, "If I weren't me, I would want my life". Well, that's good! I am so lucky to have this family. However, I know the occasional snapshots from my life do not tell the whole story. They do not show the twelve pictures of a blurry, crying baby before the perfectly posed and filtered photo appears on Instagram. Just behind my child doing something hilarious are piles and piles of unfolded laundry and days worth of messes just out of camera view. I'm afraid that I am guilty of portraying perfection. Of course I don't post the picture of brother hitting brother or my two-day unwashed hair. Who would? But, that's the truth!

I learned quickly after having Kendan the dangers in the portrayal of perfection. I would look around at my peers and think, "How does she do it all?" "Her kids are always dressed flawlessly!" "Their house is beautiful and spotless." I found myself comparing my life to everyone else's, and became very unhappy. It took me too long, a lot of self pity, and so much stress to realize that something's gotta give. That woman who finds all the time in the world to work out and look gorgeous? Her house is a mess (maybe she spot cleans before you come over). The mom who feeds her kids nothing but organic, whole foods and bakes and cooks as if her name was Betty Crocker? She probably hasn't worked out in months and feels fat. The latest kid's birthday party you attended that was plucked directly from Pinterest? The poor mom who planned it didn't sleep for a week prior. And the woman whose house is always clean and tidy when you cannot seem to keep the dishes out of the sink? She hasn't sat down and enjoyed an hour of doing nothing in forever. They're all on the verge of a breakdown. I know. Because, at one point or another, I have been all of those moms. Never all at once. I repeat, never all at once. Something's gotta give. But, I post a picture of us taking a walk on a beautiful day, the details of an adorable party, or a smiling baby being held by an impeccably coiffed mom! Not all the mess, sweat, and tears (mostly tears) that come with the day to day. The danger in all of this is how it makes others feel. When just the ideal moments of someone's life are revealed it breeds insecurity in the people who are witnessing it. They're not organized enough. They're not health conscious enough. They're not as good at parenting, or being a spouse, or a human in general. We're all doing it. We are all feeling not good enough but continue to show only the wonderful parts of our life to the world.

I have read many blogs and articles related to this subject. Some even written by friends of mine (here). They have all been eye opening and helpful in my search to come to terms with feeling "less than." A friend recently posted this article on her Facebook page. And I think it's really well-written. It does an amazing job of explaining the dangers in portraying the perfect life in any social forum. It also helped make sense of why I might feel down after seeing the happy images of friends and loved ones.

Another great point illustrated in the article is that we cannot create a community in short comments online. It's not a dialogue that lends itself to feeling connected. Recently, my phone would not allow me to comment on my friends' blogs. So, I resorted to emailing them when I had something to say. I found myself writing longer, more personal messages and, better yet, getting a reply that turned into actual conversations. So much more fulfilling and enlightening than a brief note at the bottom of a blog post that I am not sure they will ever notice. It made me feel more connected to them and, I'm sure, them to me. It created a more honest and sincere moment, even with people I hadn't spoken to in a while. That's the key, honesty.

I'm not saying to stop the perfect posts. I love all of the pictures of my friends' children, in quirky ensembles, running through fields of spring flowers. The challenge is to appreciate the photo and not think, "I should have taken the boys outside today. I'm such a bum!" It's a process, to be less self-deprecating in general, let alone when you're looking at a highlight in another person's life. To help in this quest to stop the comparisons of our seemingly perfect lives, I am going to start #truthfultuesday on Instagram. I'm not expecting it to turn into a huge trending topic (Ha! Ya right). But, even if only two people I know participate, it could help to make us feel better. I might post a picture of the tantrum I get when I have to say "No!" You may see a picture of my unmade bed or of my kids eating hot dogs for dinner. Honestly, the possibilities are endless. Because again, "honesty." If I'm being honest there's enough material in our daily mundaneness to make you all feel better, if you need that sort of thing. *You're welcome* So, hopefully, you'll join me. Maybe I'll get a glimpse into your ugly truths so that I realize I'm not the only one struggling to stay above water. And there will be plenty on my feed for you to take comfort in as well, coming soon!

True Life: We wasted a beautiful Saturday indoors and finally took our kids to the park, in the their pajamas, at 5pm for 30 minutes. Seen here struggling to share the  tube. 

Complaints

I don't even really want to put this out into the universe. Complaining does absolutely nothing to help any situation. Sure, it might make me feel better in the moment to get it off my mind. Venting to someone willing to listen usually immediately cures most things I ever feel the need to complain about. But, in general, re-hashing a situation that infuriated me does not typically resolve much. It doesn't go back in time and undo the moment. It doesn't exact any form of revenge on the person who put me in a foul mood. Yet, I complain. Some times more than others. And not nearly as much as my past self did. I think I have realized, as I've gotten older, that it isn't really worth my time. But, there are just some things that will always drive me crazy, make me want to scream, and make me, well... complain.

Here are a few:

1). Unpleasant public service employees. It absolutely never fails. If I have to go to the post office or, Lord help me, the DMV I know I will be dealing with, potentially, the crabbiest person alive. Maybe it is because they are stuck waiting on people who see their place of employment only as an inconvenient stop on a long list of errands. Maybe it's because their job location is typically run-down, under-staffed, and kept too warm in the summer/cold in the winter. Whatever their problem is, I am always hard pressed to find a friendly, helpful employee at the DMV or post office. I love being told to move to the side if my USPS form isn't 100% filled out when I reach the counter. "But, I only have one more box to complete..." Nope, step aside. Ok, thanks a lot. I am sure my two children will willingly stand still while I wait for you to finish helping the elderly lady who has nine parcels to ship. And it is just awesome when I am told that the five forms of identification I brought with me to the DMV are not enough. And that I must go back home and return, once again, with two children in tow. Upon my return, I am helped by a different employee who reassures me that what I originally had with me was, in fact, all I needed. I just cannot handle it sometimes. Those places are the pits.

2). People who take the last double cart when they only have one child. Believe it or not, this has happened to me on more than one occasion. I get it, your kid wants to sit in the higher raised, forward-facing, harness seats on the Target double cart. My kids do too. I can't go to any store without hearing a barrage of requests for the biggest cart they have. But, here's the catch... I need that cart! I have two kids with me. That's double the amount of kids than the lady has who just plopped her overly primped princess in the last double cart in the store. We walked in at the same time. She sees me barely making it through the door with two kids in my arms. I know she hears my toddler hollering for that cart, everyone in a ten mile radius can hear him. I even loudly comment that, "Yes, we will definitely try to get the double cart because we cannot fit in a regular one." But, yeah, you go ahead, lady. I'll just stick my baby in the front of this regular cart and my toddler in the basket and only buy what groceries I can fit under the cart and in my hands. Seriously?! I've covered Kendan in groceries, while he whined through the whole store because he couldn't move, and then went home with crushed bread after he kneeled into it, all because someone with only one child felt they needed the double cart. More than once! And, believe me, if someone with three kids came in at the same time as me I would forfeit the larger cart to them because they would need it more than I do. It's an unwritten rule of courtesy, people.

Sometimes we're not even happy in the double cart. You should see the scowl in the small cart!

3). A woman by herself using the large handicapped stall in the restroom. Those big handicapped stalls are amazing. Well, "mom stalls," really, because I've never actually seen a handicapped person coming out of one. They are large enough to fit a stroller comfortably, and have the diaper station so I can change my baby while my toddler goes potty. It's perfect! Except for when it's occupied. If it is being used by another mother who did not want to cram into the single stall with her rambunctious child, then great. By all means, use it. I don't have to wait until the occupant leaves to know that it is another mother with her hands full. I can tell by her incessant, "No!," and "Don't touch that!" My problem is when the person who felt the need to use the handicapped stall is one woman (teenager, middle-aged, elderly... they're all culprits), by herself. I have a choice when I know that stall is occupied. If my baby doesn't need a diaper change then I can attempt to squeeze us all into the smaller bathroom. Stroller blocking the hallway of doors, bag falling forward and hitting me in the face when I pick up my toddler to put him on the toilet. No where for him to go (but infinite things for him to touch!) if I have to sit down to go myself. Who am I kidding? I can't shut the door to use the restroom because my infant is outside the stall in the stroller! So, if my potty-trained little one can hold it for a bit, or if I do need to change a horrendous diaper, then we wait. And we wait. And my kids become impatient. So do I. What is she doing in there? Her makeup?! I try to reason with myself. Maybe all the other stalls were occupied when she got in here and she had to take the handicapped stall. But, there are three other stalls and I haven't seen any other traffic through the restroom on our way in or in the last few minutes we've been standing here. I even think that maybe this will be the first time I've ever seen an actual handicapped person leave this stall! Obviously, that'd be understandable. My kids snap me out of my thoughts. I tell Kendan, loudly because I'm annoyed now, "I know you have to go potty but we have to wait for the big stall so we can all fit and so I can change brother." This better be a handicapped person... as my baby flails almost out of my arms and my toddler begins to dance around holding himself. The toilet flushes, FINALLY! Out walks a very capable woman by herself. No crutches. No wheelchair. No kids. Something about that scenario makes my blood boil! Maybe because I encounter it almost every time we go out. I hope I wasn't that person before I had children. Something tells me I was and now karma is punishing the shit out of me.

4). People parking too closely to my mom car. Let me remove any mystery shrouding the purpose of my vehicle. It has a family sticker in the rear, two car seats in the back, slightly tinted sun protectors on the back windows, and (if you look close enough) I am sure you could see graham crackers on every seat and crushed into the carpet. It is parked in a grocery store parking lot as close to a cart return as it can be. Its sole purpose is to tote children and groceries around. It is a mom car. What does this mean to you? Don't park your F100,000 tank truck next to me so close that I cannot even open the doors! I have to fit human beings, sometimes even a carrier, in those side doors that you have now rendered useless. I do not have the skills to balance a door open before the designated spot at which it stands open on its own, while using both hands to buckle my kid in. The only thing I can do is gently open my door and rest it against your car. It's that or it swings on its own and leaves a ding. And the only reason I am going that far is to prevent damage to my car. Your vehicle deserves the ding. But, thank you, for pulling your side view mirrors in. Phew! What a big help. Um, no. All that does is tell me that you knew your dumb ass truck was parked too close to my vehicle and you left it that way. Ugh. Just.... .... ugh.

These are just a few things that bother me regularly. The top four situations that will definitely get me complaining. Yes, there are days where none of those scenarios occur and I'm left with a handful of random, small things to complain about or, *gasp*, nothing to complain about. And, believe me, I am aware of the insignificance of the above list. If I could attach hashtags to this post it would probably read #SAHMproblems #getoverit #ineedalife. I realize that if this is the majority of my complaints in life then I have it pretty good. But, I just needed to get it all off my chest. I feel better already!