Two

When Kendan turned two I thought he was so big. My big boy. He seemed so grown up to me. He was stringing words together to make sentences and becoming clearer in expressing exactly what he wanted or needed. He knew his colors and shapes. He was sneaky. He knew how to be funny. He was a big kid! I remember his second birthday party very vividly; popcorn and pajamas, so many wonderful friends, and my big boy playing and blowing out his candles.

I also remember Damien at that party. My baby. I remember I dressed him in actual clothing that day as a joke on the theme since he was always in pajamas as a one month old. I remember him being very little; sandwiched nicely on his play mat between our neighbor and her baby son at the time so I could tend to my birthday boy and the guests. I believe Damien's newborn size was what made Kendan feel so old to me. I had a tiny baby who needed me for absolutely everything and a toddler who was beginning to do a lot of things for himself. 

Fast forward to today. I now have a two year old. Again. But, it's different. Without a much smaller and entirely helpless sibling to compare him to, Damien still seems like a baby to me. I think about how grown up Kendan felt at this age and I don't feel the same way about Damien even though he is doing all the same things Kendan was doing by now. He talks so much! He answers, "Ready" or "Ok" (actually, just "K") for almost everything. He opens the door to every room and boisterously says, "Hi" to announce his presence. He also expresses his needs and wants; although, not as clearly since he prefers to screech instead of sign like Kendan did. Damien is also sneaky (already procrastinating at bed time) and funny .... no, hilarious! He has the absolute best facial expressions. His "bubble" laugh, as his Aunt and I call it, is contagious and the cutest thing you've ever heard. He is also very different from who Kendan was at this age. He doesn't know all of his shapes and colors. For a while, everything was yellow. Now, everything is "color" as he waves his hand over an object when you ask him what color it is. I suppose that's a step backwards, but it cracks me up. He only knows "star" as far as shapes go and waits until I get to five when counting to cheerily yell along, "FIVE!" But, man can he sing! He knows the lyrics to more songs than his four year old brother. And I don't mean "Wheels on the Bus." Damien sings along to songs on the radio and CD's in our car. Lourde, Jimmy Eat World, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry. It's awsome. But, his favorite song, by far, is the Pentatonix version of "Little Drummer Boy". The video on YouTube serves as the perfect bribery to eat asparagus.

I threw the same second birthday party for Damien. Popcorn and pajamas! It snowed all day, which is rare for Texas in February. I was worried Damien's guests, his weekly Playgroup and best friend Skyler, wouldn't make it to our house. But, they did! We all indulged in muffins and popcorn in our cozy pj's; even the moms. Damien played with his little friends; being all toddlers, he fits in well with the group. However, despite being a typical two year old, just like Kendan was, Damien is just a baby. My baby. Compared to his big brother he isn't nearly as self sufficient. Looking at how much my four year old knows and does makes my two year old seem so young. And, that's ok. I am so happy Damien still feels like my sweet little infant. It hits me hard when he wears 2T clothing; stuff Kendan still wore when we moved into our home in Texas. It's crazy to think we will begin potty training this year. Or that we just got him his first bike for his birthday. I sometimes worry that I need to work more with Damien on counting and learning his colors. I get concerned when I think about how old Kendan felt at this age and how young Damien still feels. But, I've decided to consider this feeling a blessing. I hope Damien always appears little to me.  At age 2, 10, 25, and beyond. Because even though be must grow up, he'll always be my baby.

Damien,

You are the best! I cannot even begin to describe how incredibly lucky I am to be your mother. You make me laugh every single day. I love how you work at something until you figure it out; rarely giving up. I love your fearlessness as you try everything your big brother does and more. I love seeing you learn new things every day and having you surprise me with things I didn't realize you knew. I love your huge personality and how it fits perfectly into our family. We are blessed beyond measure to have you in our lives. We love you! 

Happy Birthday!