Sunday, March 3, 2013


Kendan talks. A lot. Not any more, or better, than the rest of the kids his age, but all of his talking leaves me in awe daily. "When did he learn that?!" "Did he just say, ________?" It's helpful. He can tell me, in no uncertain terms, that he does not want to leave the park to go home for nap, and not just by throwing a tantrum. His talking is also helpful when I ask him what his little brother is up to from the other room or send him to ask his dad a question from upstairs. But, it can also be annoying. I remember when I longed for someone to talk to when Kendan was an infant. Now, I find myself wishing he'd be quiet for just two minutes so I can enjoy silence! He narrates his every move, he makes sound effects for his every move, and he tattles on Brother's every move. But, I do mostly love it. I'm so glad he can communicate effectively. I see Damien struggling with something and wish he could just verbalize the issue; I sometimes even expect answers to the questions I ask him. With increased vocalization comes a lot of repeating. We learned a while ago certain words that need to be prohibited from Kendan's ear shot. And, now it is whole phrases he regurgitates several hours, or days, after he has heard them. There are improper tenses, mispronunciations, and some flat-out made up words. Here are a few things Kendan has had us laughing, and cringing, at lately.

Everyone is a "him." Women, men, children, animals. And "him" seems to be the only tense of the word he acknowledges; there is no "he" or "his." So, a typical sentence I might hear from Kendan (and have heard from him) goes like this, "Mama, him put hims dress on! Him look so pretty!"

When Kendan goes to the bathroom he has to "tuck 'it' down" to ensure that the whole bathroom doesn't get sprayed. Recently, Mamaw Patti was in town and told Kendan she had to go potty. "Not forget to tuck it down," he happily reminded her.

Damien cries a good amount, considering he is a baby and all. Kendan has been known to tell him to "stop crying" and call him a "drama queen." But, lately, he has been standing up for his defenseless younger sibling. When we get frustrated and exclaim, "Damien, please!" Kendan is quick to say, "him just want a cracker!"

In teaching Kendan sounds over the last couple years I would say, "do you hear that sound? A (fire truck)." Kendan began inquiring about every sound he would hear with, "a noise?" and a puzzled look. The end of the word "noise" always in a higher, inquisitive pitch. As he got older it became, "heard dat noise?" And, now, he will ask me, "Mama, heard dat noise? It's a (fire truck)!" Answering his own question immediately, every time. My favorite part of this phrase is that it's always "noise." Not a sound. It's as if he's a crotchety old man and everything he hears is just "noise."

Spider-Man is "Pider-Man." It makes it extra adorable when he is very deep into character but is still pronouncing it incorrectly.

If Kendan needs to blow his nose he gasps and yells, "I have a booger!"

Everything is about control for Kendan right now. So, when I see him dancing around because he is about to pee his pants he will insist he does not have to go when I suggest that he should. He always tells me, "no 'doh' potty. I just rockin' and rollin'."

Kendan tells me each morning every item he needs at the breakfast table. My favorite is his dinosaur shaped vitamins that he calls, "rawr vemens."

When in the throws of the stomach flu recently, Kendan saw my Diet Coke sitting on the ottoman tray. He said, "I just have a 'little bit-it' of your pop. Ok, Mama?" It is so sweet when he says "little bit-it" for "little bit" that I almost caved and gave him some! Had I not feared catching the virus myself I would have.

Anything Kendan suspects he will not like at the dinner table is avoided as he says, "I no like dat. It make me cough."

In the last couple weeks Kendan has really gotten into Star Wars. But, he refers to Darth Vader as "Star Wars." When Vader comes on screen Kendan gasps and says, "Here come Star Wars! Oh my gosh!"

If Kendan has not done something I asked him to do his favorite response to my asking if it's done is, "not 'et'." I cannot get mad at him for having not yet completed something when he says that!

My tampons have always been a favorite toy for Kendan. He always knew they were called "tampons" too. Then he had to know why I had them. I told him they were for when Mommy goes potty. A couple days later, while straining to push out a poop, he looks at me and whispers, "I need a 'two-m-pon'."

I use the maps app on my phone often and Kendan likes to repeat the verbal directions it gives. Once, it was telling me to make a U-turn. From the backseat, Kendan repeats, "Mama, U-turn!" I said, "a U-turn?" He frustratingly yells, "no, you turn! I no have a steering wheel."

I taught Kendan his birthday, the street he lives on, the state he lives in, and his full name one day. But, the full name part confused him. "Kendan Guy Kaplowitz," he repeated. And then he said, "I not Guy Kaplowitz! Dat Grandpa!"

He has even begun to make up people and languages. He made up a super hero named "Tag-a-wa" who "has a weird tooth." When he wears his blankie on his head I know he is "Tag-a-wa." And I know to just reply with "oh really?" when he begins speaking in jibberish during lunch because it is a made up language. Every night I sing him two songs before bed. Long gone are the days of singing "Twinkle Twinkle" and "Hush Little Baby." He has had me making up impromptu songs about whatever random object he chooses from his line of sight for a while now. But, I knew I was in for an entirely different stage with my child when he had me make up a song about a made up word! I couldn't tell you what the word was, or the random lyrics to my song, to save my life.

I swear he became an overnight teenager with as much as he says. Thankfully, his blankies are still "ah-ah's" and Damien is still "Brudder." But, other than that I never know what we will get from his mouth. It may make me crack up, it may make me shudder in embarrassment. But, usually, it makes me completely melt. I couldn't have envisioned that even the sassiest thing coming out of my toddler's mouth could be one of the best things I have ever heard. It has brought my attention to what I am saying in front of him, to just how much he is learning every day, and it has been an insight to how is amazing little mind works. He can express concern, interest, worry, emotions, and every feeling with almost complete clarity. It has made us closer. We communicate. And when I look at him and tell him, "I love you so much" and he replies, "I love you too" it is the most amazing thing I have ever heard him say.

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